RIP Daddy

You are never prepared for the passing of your parent. No matter how sick they have been or for how long. Right now I don't feel like I will ever be a whole person again. My dad died tonight. Just typing those words makes me feel ill.

I'm the only family member that was at the hospital when he coded and I was the one to tell the docs that we didn't want to take extraordinary measures to keep him alive. I'm glad I made that decision because he would not have wanted to live on tubes and machines, so I will never second guess myself on that.

But I wasn't ready for him to go and I don't think I ever would have been. My Mom has been preparing for this for at least a year, if truth be told. She has had to live with him declining a little more every day for a long time. She was telling me last fall that he just wasn't "right" but it was like the doctors wouldn't listen to what she was saying. Then when he had the stroke in December, they found out he had signs of previous strokes. My mom knew what was going on even if nobody else recognized that fact. Dad knew time was running short too. A month ago he made the decision and signed the paperwork to donate his body to science. I bet they will learn lots of new stuff from him too.


I love you daddy and am going to miss you so much. I know you are out of pain and in a better place. I like to think of you on a cruise ship, playing cards, watching a ball game and eating ice cream since those were your favorite things, other than spending time with your grandkids. My dad loved baseball, so how appropriate was it that he passed away on opening day? We just have to somehow figure out how to get some of his ashes to Wrigley Field because he loved it there, even as a kid.